The end

I did it. I completed this list of 365 people I have encountered in my life, some of them very brief encounters, some of them very close to me. It was at times quite challenge, but many entries evoked memories I hadn’t thought of in years. I notice that the person who started this project no longer has a web site, so I can’t even go and report “I DID IT!” ...but I’m glad it’s a project I started and saw through to its completion.

365/365: My Children

I have left off my kids in this list. Jeri, Ned, Paul, Tom, David–two of them no longer here. They are literally the wind beneath my wings. They support me, encourage me, love me, and roll their eyes at some of my antics. I love them more than I can say and am so glad that they are (or have been) in my life.

364/365: My Mother

My mother has been my best friend for a very long time–not always, but for many years now. I admire her strength, her accomplishments. I love our talks togther. I love our card games, the lunches we have shared, and “Cousins Day,” the best day of the month. Everybody loves her and nobody can believe that she’s 90, since she doesn’t look older than 70.

363/365: Walt

Today is our anniversary and we’re an ocean and a continent and a half apart. He’s let me come to Europe with Jeri and a bunch of women friends. Walt is one of the original good guys. He’s put up with me for 44 years through all of my craziness and never (well hardly ever) complained. I’m a very lucky person and I love him.

(Walt--check the drawer under the little TV in my office)

362/365: Marta

Our first daughter-in-law and we got us a gem. I have told her more than once that I would nominate her for sainthood. She and Ned have a fantastic relationship and she keeps him grounded. I can’t even think of what life for Ned would be without her. She’s also a voracious reader, a terrific massage therapist and a beautiful singer...and drop dead gorgeous.

361/365: Laurel

When I spent my first day with Laurel, I asked Walt if he thought Tom realized he was dating his mother. We had so many things in common. As her relationship with Tom blossomed into romance, and then into marriage, we were thrilled that she was going to stay in the family forever. Now she’s the mother to our only grandchild and a fantastic mother.

360/365: Phil

Phil was just always here. Always the good guy. Ned’s good friend, Jeri’s good friend. Everybody loved Phil. And then after most of her life, Jeri realized that she loved him “in that way.” They’ve been married a year now and the glow on Jeri’s face whenever they are together makes me so very happy. (He also won my heart when he adopted our puppy!)

359/365: Audra

We didn’t know Audra well when Paul married her and we were still in the “getting to know you” phase when Paul died. She moved to So. California after his death and got herself a veterinary practice. We still see her from time to time, but rarely. Finally, she has remarried and finally has a child of her own. I’m sorry it’s not Paul’s child.

358/365: Peggy

We were long distance internet friends who became best friends, face to face, through her trip to the US and mine to Australia.. She’s the one I can talk to about photography, PhotoShop, animals, and things nobody else is interested in. I love laughing with her. I’m grateful for the time we’ve spent together, sad that we won’t be able to see each other again

357/365: Char

What do you say about someone who has been your friend for most of your life? The crazy things we’ve done together, the good and bad memories we share? Who else would understand pumpkin pie marathons, ending in pie throwing? Teething on dinosaur bones? Seders in the desert? “Follow that grey car”? Laughing together, crying together. A lifetime of memories, and memories yet to come.

356/365: Jeri (the other one!)

We’ve been friends since college, were in each other’s wedding, we are godmothers to each other’s daughters. We’ve been through good times and very bad times and it’s nice to know that she is always there if I need her. We don’t see each other so much now that she has a new love in her life, but if I called her, she’d be there.

355/365: Steve

Steve was the window God opened when he shut the door with Paul’s death. It was a chance meeting over lunch in San Francisco and a BFF was born. Incredibly talented singer/songwriter living with AIDS. We’ve laughed and cried together. He knows my heart. The man with a hug for everyone. We’ve had lots of adventures together around the country! I love him a lot.

354/365: Gabi

This is a woman who took a cart full of lemons and made delicious lemonade. Her son killed himself after a gay bashing and out of that tragedy she has worked tirelessly for the safety of gay kids in schools around the country. She is a quiet, unassuming woman with the ferocity of a lioness guarding her prey. I have such incredible admiration for her.

353/365: Arthur

The first person I knew to die of AIDS. I was his assistant to the director for Mikado and he promised to take me to lunch as a thank you. He had a “cold” during the show and when it ended, I had a call that he had been taken to the hospital. I sent a card immediately and he didn’t live to read it.

352/365: Concetta

Her father owned one of San Francisco’s most famous (and notorious) night clubs, yet she was always surprisingly normal. Part of our “Newman Group,” and the only one to be divorced. She has suffered from MS for many years and has no movement below her neck, yet she sometimes seems more active than I am. She grasps life with all she can while she can.

351/365: Kathy #2

My cousin has always been in my life, but it has only been in the past 3 years that we’ve become closer friends, through “Cousins Day.” She’s had a very hard life and it bothers me to watch her struggle for breath, dealing with her COPD. She has only done good things for everyone around her and she deserved better from everyone in her life.

350/365: The (not so good) Actor

He was the reason I didn’t become a theater critic many years earlier, when the entertainment editor asked me. I knew that I would have to review this man’s performances. He was a town favorite, his family and ours were friends, our kids went to school together. But–sorry–he was a TERRIBLE actor who had a much greater opinion of his talent than I had.

349/365: The Band Director

When our kids were little, the director would march the high school marching band up and down our street and we always stood outside to watch. Later Jeri joined the marching band, but this particular director had left. We were casual friends through the years and later I learned that the director’s marriage had broken up because the director now had a same sex partner.

348/365: The Stage Mom

It was a long time ago. Paul was 8. He had just been cast in his very first speaking role in the children’s theater. The mother of his competitor for the part pulled her kid out of the show, claiming Paul got preferential treatment because I was involved with the theater. It was a childish tantrum on her part. Paul was GOOD in the role!

347/365: Mike #3

I sat with him at a gathering recently. Hadn’t seen him in years. He worked the local theater with our kids for years and years; we went to his wedding in a field on a mountain top somewhere; now he has Parkinson’s and I was surprised at how old he looked when I saw him. But he’s been an important part of our Davis history.

346/365: Martha

What an amazing lady. In her 80s and still performing, now and then. She was producer for the Davis Comic Opera company for 30 years. When Paul was starting to be a rock singer, she gave him a free voice lesson to help him learn how to protect his voice. She is a “lady” in ever sense of the word. I’m glad she’s a friend.

345/365: Bob #8

He’s a popular local columnist and it seems like I’ve known him forever. It’s fun to run into him at the supermarket. He gave a lovely talk at Paul’s memorial service, wrote wonderful things about Paul when he did his monologue show, and later, about David’s funeral and then Paul’s. He and I locked horns briefly on political issues, but have made up since then.

344/365: Gary

I only met him once, briefly, but I’ve reviewed him three times. A wonderful actor, big teddy bear of a man. I can imagine him as a grandfather reading stories to little children. He is one of the few actors, in all the years I’ve reviewed shows, who has actually written to thank me for nice things I said about him (usually, I get complaints!)

343/365: The Critic

I met this woman at a summer performance. We were sitting next to each other, each holding review packets. I tried to make small talk and she cut me dead, letting me know she had TONS of experience and I couldn’t possibly even hope to come up to her level. We see each other frequently, and I never try to talk to her any more

342/365: The File Clerk

This was the very best thing I ever did in my job as office manager. I hired her, her skills were somewhat dubious, but I told her she would have to create her own job. By the time I left the job, the place could not run without her. She knew where everything was and could answer any question. She became invaluable to the office.

341/365: Marge

She was my favorite aunt, the one I knew best. She smoked like a fish and had one of those smokers’ voices. She was warm and funny and had nicknames for everyone. She helped anybody who needed help. It was a terrible loss when she died of lung cancer. I still smile each spring when the iris bulbs from her yard bloom in my yard.

340/365: Stacie #2

She saved me so many times when she was working as my assistant. Wonderfully intelligent and competent woman. When I was “invited” to leave my job, I told them they’d be crazy not to hire her to replace me, but they didn’t because, like me, she didn’t have a degree. When she left they hired a series of “qualified” people who couldn’t do the job.

339/365: The Recruiter

She was all excited about the things we were going to do together and the work we were going to do together. It was like a non-financial pyramid scheme. Once she signed me up for her committee, she disappeared and I was stuck with a 2-year term on something I never quite “got.” I went to meetings, but feel that I contributed absolutely nothing.

338/365: Bob #7

We dated for awhile. He lived up in the hills and had a VW bug. I remember having to lean into the curves when we drove up the hill to keep from tipping over. He married and had a son. He was an artist and made us the weirdest wedding present ever. We heard his wife left him, and later that he died of AIDS.